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Created on Tuesday, 04 September 2012 04:12
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Written by Nathalie
Ok, so I admit. I brought you here under false pretenses. I'll go ahead and tell you now how to keep little boys quiet. You just don't. So if you came here out of desperation....with ears ringing, worn out and windblown by your rowdy little boy...take heart. It will be ok. And if you came here because you have been mama to a little boy long enough to know better than fall for my trickery, but couldn't resist seeing what the shenanigans were all about....you were right. In my personal opinion (and son-mamas would probably yell a proud AMEN!) there's no way to tame a boy. It's like saying to a horse, " You are not a horse. You are a lamb." Does that mean the horse is now a lamb?...nope. Just a frustrated horse.
So, it's no secret: boys are often described with words like wild, rowdy, energetic, rough, boisterous, rambunctious, and LOUD. When I was a new mama to my sweet boy...I embraced it...fully. I knew this from observing, and I was determined to enjoy the wild ride (even though I was terrified!)
It all started in our son's toddler years. I vividly remember being in restaurants and public places, and getting so frustrated when everyone around us would constantly shush our little boy everytime his decibal level surpassed an acceptable inside voice. I kept thinking...HE'S A BOY! Honestly his loudness didn't bother me at all. I mean, I wasn't letting him hang from the chandeliers or anything, but squeals and loud talking and rambunctiousness (although tiring)...didn't bother me.
But somewhere along the way, it all changed. All the shushing impacted me at some point. Admittedly, being a people pleaser, I suppose I eventually thought: oh, I'm that mom that everybody talks about...you know the mom that can't keep her kid quiet so everyone else can enjoy some peace. I didn't want to be that mom (because I have people pleaser issues, remember?) And it dawned on me the other day: I HAVE BECOME A SHUSHER (the very shushing that bothered me so much as a brand new son-mama). And not just a part-time shusher, it's a full-time gig. At home, I'm shushing him because we live upstairs in our in-laws house. In public I'm shushing him because people stare (he's really loud y'all). 
You see, I grew up with a sister. I knew nothing of raising boys when we found out we were expecting a boy. But I knew we were in for a wild ride. I was excited about the adventure. But I was scared that I wouldn't cut it as a mama to a boy. I always thought that moms with boys were an elite league of women. And I always had this thought that the Lord only gave boys to moms that had this super special gift. And I was most certain I did not possess said gift. The day we found out we were expecting a boy...I didn't suddenly think, "WOW, I guess I am pretty special." Nope. It was more like, "How am I going to do this without the special gift?!"
Well I am five years in, and I still feel I'm lacking "that gift". But what I've gained is an education in letting a person be exactly who they are. KIDS ARE PEOPLE TOO, yah know! ;-) This has been a particularly enlightening revelation for me, because I have always struggled with being ok with who I am...and who I am not. And I think, in turn, have struggled letting the people in my life, especially my family, be exactly who they are...and where they are on the journey.
My son is loud, boisterous, wild, determined, strong-willed, spirited, adventurous, curious, and has more energy than any boy I've ever known. I'm not exaggerating. Did I mention he's loud? 
But here's what has brought me so much freedom: God created him this way for a purpose...a glorious purpose. HIS GLORY. And I would not dare want to change or take the things from his person that are meant for a Holy agenda.
So, I'm learning daily to put aside my urge to please people, keep up with appearances of what a well mannered boy looks like, and try and turn my wild boy into something he's not...because doing so means clipping his wings. But if I want my boy to soar, then I have to make this vow before all of you today. Today marks the day that I stop trying so hard to keep my son from disturbing the masses. Today is the day I start training him to be confident in who and how God has made him to bring God's glory to the masses.
How about it son-mama's? Can we vow together?
